(Insert Curses) Those Kids!
by RisingSolstice
Summary: And they'll just take it as a compliment. Kakashi had faced horrors, but his new charges are reigning it to a whole new, terrible level. They may as well be from there... Who was he kidding? They were kicked out and the keys thrown away to cause chaos on Earth. Another Akun50 'Unique Power-up' challenge.
1. Chapter 1

Hello again to curious readers. So got bored and can't bring up enough inspiration so had to find it somewhere. By reading this, you might figure out what I been into at the time. And with reading a great deal of psychopath fics, so why not make my own?

So here's Round 2 of 'Akun50 Challenge: Unique Power-up'.

Disclaimers: I don't even think this is necessary since this is 'the old song and dance number'.

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XXXXX

"I'll admit fighting with four guns is impressive. But these girls haven't failed me yet."

"They are beautiful; it's a shame that they are being manhandled by such a brute."

Kakashi have always believed in the saying of 'looking underneath the underneath'. When he took the opportunity to be a Jounin-sensei, he prepares himself for what might be expected of his wards. So after completing his daily rituals (coughIchacough), he delves a bit into his student's profiles to deal with Sasuke's trauma, Naruto's isolation and Sakura's insecurities.

Yet all those planning appear to be for nothing because these are clearly not his students.

He has expected the Uchiha to still be a brooding emo since yesterday. Yet here he is; talking animatedly with a cocky grin on his face. What complimented Sasuke's change of attitude is the change of wardrobe; the most prominent is the red coat. Kakashi took into account that the boy was holding a L-shaped object but the most eye-catching was the sword with a very intricate and wicked (not the slang, the weapon truly looks demonic) detail on his back.

He also noticed something that he failed from afar. Sasuke was noticeably taller and filled up in ways that would make the opposite sex drool. And that was shockingly the same discovery when he turned to the one he thought was Sakura.

How'd she got those dangerous curves made him fear for those forbidden territories. The sight was made more illegal with all the straps and leathers that accentuated every movement. Her new hairstyle and glasses gives her a mature guise that was making it very awkward for someone. It wasn't helping how she uncrossed her legs and stretched to attach an object to her heel that looks similar with that of Sasuke's.

Not wanting to know how far she can bend, Kakashi made his presence known. "Hey, K-sensei. It's about time you got here."

Still not used to his new up-beat personality, he noticed when Sasuke took a bite of something. Seeing a box with a slice left, Kakashi decided to ask. "Sasuke, what is that?"

"Pizza." He answered the obvious after swallowing.

"And why do you have it?" hoping to get to the point across. "What? I was hungry." Afraid not.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat breakfast?"

"Is listening part of the test? You said not to eat because we might puke. And trust me; a good pizza will never betray me, except if they have olives! How can people eat those things?" Kakashi was torn between impressed and annoyed that the loophole was found.

"I do believe that's what you said yesterday. But if you have seen his manners a while ago, you might just do it anyway." Sakura stood up and arched her back to loosen something. She has an 'A' in seduction. Any higher and he know he's in a lot of trouble.

"And Sakura… what are you wearing?" while turning away and hoping to resist any tempting ideas.

He wasn't sure if it was intentional when she turned around to apply make-up. "Oh, I woke up one day and this came to mind. I think it suits me just fine." He was betting that it was on purpose because her hair was the only thing restricting their view from her back and it was a tad bit windy today.

"And I like it." Sasuke unashamedly admit while enjoying the sight.

"Down, boy." was her sassy rebuke.

The Jounin was questioning this turn of events before he remembered something that can be used to defuse their flirting. "Oh… key… Now where's Naruto?" They looked to each other and shrugged their shared lack of knowledge.

Sighing on how this day was turning out, he decided to give them a chance. He has no room to talk about punctuality "There's still some time left. So if you don't want to fail, you better start looking for him."

"That won't be necessary." A deep yet cold voice came from behind him. Kakashi wasn't sure how it was possible. All morning his instinct keeps telling him that there was a threat following him. He ignored it claiming to be overthinking it when he had a job to do. Now it was magnified to the level of ' _Flee on Sight_ '. Yet he felt an irrational fear to turn around as whoever it was moved besides him.

Looking to his side, he caught sight of the final member of his team. And the sight… was unbelievable. For one, the prankster is no longer the shortest in his generation. Second was that the only thing orange was the circular sunglasses as he was now clad in a stylish suit topped by a red hat and coat.

The Uzumaki stopped when he is in front of his team mates, sporting a smile. But unlike the usual light-hearted one he was associated with, this was far darker.

His teammate appears to be ignoring this as Sasuke whistled. "Nice entrance and dig the threads."

Sakura nodded as she appraised the blonde with certain glint in her eyes. "I have to agree. You look ravishing."

"And what am I, chopped liver?" Sakura just offhandedly waved it off as she continued to critique Naruto's new style. "Oh hush now, I did say you make bad boys look good. He just pulled class and danger quite splendidly."

The blonde just chuckled in amusement of his soon to be teammates. "Why thank you, my dear. You're not bad yourself." His grin grew wider revealing longer and sharper than normal canines. "In fact, you look good enough to eat."

"Pizza?" Sasuke half-heartedly offered an already bitten piece.

"I don't think that a mere slice would do for this kind of hunger." She casually corrected with a hand on her hip, most missing the fact that something was strapped there.

Her current companion just shrugged as he finished it in a bite. "Meh… More for me."

But before he can organize anything, a large cloud of dust blinded him. Then the sounds of explosion can be heard as the earth shook. Still confused on what's going on, Kakashi thanked his experience and luck that he was able to dodge whatever was headed his way. Realizing that he might get caught in crossfire, he erected an earth wall. But the impacts were so powerful that stopping the flow of chakra for even a second would be disastrous. Then suddenly, all fell silent. When he judged that it might be considerably safe, the Cyclops took a peek.

The dust clears to reveal Naruto holding identical weapons and pointing it to his teammates. Sasuke and Sakura were also aiming there's forming a deadlock. He might not have been able to see their confrontation, but the killing intent was staggering for a batch of newly minted Genin. What was more unsettling was that they each had a big smile on their face as they regarded one another.

"This power…," Naruto's deep voice broke the silence as he turned to his classroom crush. "…it's been so long since I felt this. You Umbra Witch were a rare treat."

"And you're quite exotic yourself, Nosferatu." Sakura complimented with a wink.

"And a Nephilim too. To come across your endangered race, the son of _that_ man no less!" His grin grew wider as sinister laughter permeated the air. "It must be my lucky day!"

"Yeah and I haven't seen a mug as ugly as yours in quite a while either." Sasuke smugly taunted. He then looked to the only female combatant, more specifically the weapon levelled at him while he did the same. "And why are you pointing that at me?"

She tried to act innocent like she just realised it. "Hmmm… I thought a threesome would be fun." was her shameless reply.

He just gave her a deadpan before glancing lower. "You could have pointed that one instead."

Even her giggle sounds sensual. "Oh… I bet you'll like that."

"EVERYONE! STAND DOWN!" The weight was lightened, even if it was for a minute, as their attention was turned elsewhere. Specifically: a slowly hysterical Jounin. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Hey! He started it!" The Uchiha argued but quickly turned back to his opponent. "But I know damn well I can finish it!"

"Hehehe… Arrogant aren't we?" The Uzumaki plainly stated, amused despite his life was on the line.

"Oh, you know how Mr. Pot is, Mr. Kettle." Ms. Haruno calmly shrugged, but the guns never left their targets.

This earned her another deadpan. "You're one to talk, Ms. Pan."

He didn't think it would be good on record to lose his squad, to each other no less, on the first day. "I don't care! Put those things away! That's an order or do you want to go back to the academy?"

"You said that we're not yet Genin. Does this count as insubordination?" It made sense, but Kakashi was having none of that. "Ok, ok, sheesh." Sasuke reluctantly complied as he turned his attention to Naruto.

Kakashi tried to muster up a glare befitting of his rank, but the boy seems to outlast and outclass him. A minute and the intensity was slowly overpowering him, before Naruto merely growled while hiding his weapons. "Be thankful that my master gave explicit orders concerning you for I answer to no one but her." And he can't help but mentally agree.

Sakura only pouted as she stored her guns away. "Bugger! And I didn't make any time for pillow talk." Shocked that Sakura might even know what it meant, he summed up who he is supposed to teach: a trio of scandalous, blood-thirsty delinquents.

What the hell happened to these kids? The clothes, the attitude, the skills, the bloodlust! Heck he felt like they aged far more than himself. And right now, he felt that they are hiding something… Something he was slowly dreading to find out. He might as well start the test to fail them. Hopefully another year will sort this out, right?

"Today I am to test whether you are fit to be shinobi. Thus the Survival Test." He brought out the tools needed as their focus was on him. "Your job is to get these bells…"

"That's it?!" Sasuke interrupted. Waiting for another and found none, he continued. "… from me. You are given a time limit to do so; otherwise you fail and go back to the academy."

Cracking his neck and knuckles, Sasuke was the only one who seems preparing for the test. "Alright, let's get this over with."

"Have you no dignity to fall for such petty task?" He can't tell which was worse; the smile or the frown as Naruto scolded. Finishing his stretches, Sasuke turned to the slowly angered blonde.

"I like your motto, except the master thing, but there is no way I'm going back there with those boring lectures and snivelling brats! I still have to pay the bills and set up shop." The reason seems satisfactory to quell his ire.

"I concur. If there are two things I hate in this world, its cockroaches and crying babies! Well, a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible…" He was very, _very_ thankful that there was still a piece of the girl in that… woman's body (he was slowly giving up thinking otherwise).

"I get the last one, but where does the cockroach come from other than the basement?"

"There are a lot of things I can label that. At the academy it was Mizuki, only proven after being branded a traitor." The news was isolated among only _official_ shinobi, so he was wondering where she had gotten the information.

"Yes, he was a scum. But he did have his good deed, even if it was at the end." Naruto reminisced, maybe implying the time before Mizuki turned coat.

"And that is?" He was also asking this in his head while thinking if the traitor made prior contact with Naruto. He somehow escaped prison, but his trail disappeared leaving only a lingering scent of blood in its wake.

"Giving me a meal." He answered with _that_ bloody grin.

Deciding to investigate later, he turned to his soon to be ex-students. "I see that you're not taking this seriously. So let me give you an advice; if you want to pass, you must come with the intent to kill."

Kakashi had mistaken the silence as his display of superiority. But oh how wrong he was. It was just a very brief calm before the storm. A disaster that he was never prepared for as a crack of ungodly noise send shivers down his spine.

The savage glee shook Naruto that his sunglasses slipped a bit. This only revealed blood red eyes directed at him with violent intentions further emphasized with the drawing of his weapons. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's an order that I'll gladly obey!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" was Sasuke's 'calmer' response, though it still didn't hide his excitement as he brought out his own firearms.

"You sure know how to start a party." She sauntered between the two males in red. With a lascivious twirl, Sakura aimed her guns, all with a sultry yet sadistic smile. "Let's dance, boys!"

The sound of thunders and hails of metal rain, with the overwhelming scent of blood and unholy laughter heralds the opening of the gates of the damned… For hell couldn't contain these monsters.

xxxxx

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!- *SLAP!*"

"Hey! Snap out of it!"

Kakashi tried to calm his breathing while quickly assessing his situation. He was in a room… on a bed. Then he remembered: he was on a mission. He was on a mission with his team… His team…

"Jeez, it's still 3 in the morning." The moon gave little light, but it was enough to illuminate Naruto due to all the white he is wearing. He still appeared sleepy but his companion, the one who he believes knocked some sense back in to him, was awake with a sword at hand.

"Now I'm curious to what caused a tempered veteran to look so pathetic." Turning to that callous comment, he found Sasuke still in his dark outfit and equally dark sense of humour.

"Are you alright, Kakashi-sensei?" The heart-felt concern that Sakura showed was the final straw. In a speed that surprised all of them, he had all his students in a strong embrace. He didn't care how he is mirroring his eternal rival with tears of joy flowing out of his eyes.

"I don't care if you are a crazy, lazy, heartless prude! I love you guys and don't ever change more than you are now!"

Wondering what came over him, one somehow had another query. "…Prude?"

XXXXX

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Well there you have it. Unless I messed up spectacularly, I left enough clues to who Team 7 had become. Like previous one shots, lets see where this may lead.

Also included a shameless advertisement of a similar scenario. Could have used the traditional, but where's the fun?

Till another stroke of insanity. See yah.


	2. Chapter 2

_**SPOILERS!**_

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…

…

Does this count as one since the series used were completed (the manga anyway)? Oh well, have fun though.

Disclaimers: You know it.

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XXXXX

War was hell. No question asked. The lost and suffering were giveaways no matter whose side you're on. But this particular one had taken it literally.

And who knew that the world's end would be by the hands of the progenitor of their very own way of life. All this was started from a history thought to be a myth.

The gates of hell was torn open as demons and more ravaged the mortal realm. Then shining creatures, some looking just as terrifying as their dark counterparts, appeared and destroyed without discrepancy. All of them summoned by a being that might as well be a goddess.

This was enough reason for the elemental nation to cast one another's hostility and direct it to a greater enemy. They all fought valiantly, but many of the best have fallen. That was the condition that Kakashi was unfortunately in.

' _At least I took that fucker down._ ' He thought remembering how he was able to run through a well-placed Raikiri into that hammer wielding juggernaut's heart.

Kakashi realized that he wouldn't have time to reminisce because there were monsters that came to avenge their master. Funny thing is… he have too. And after getting used to their carnage, the Jounin-sensei somehow ranked the creativity of each fatality as those followers were shredded, crushed and devoured by his students.

He must have looked terrible to alarm them. He would have imagined that their violent minds may have been used to such a sight. But Kakashi realized what made this so different. It's because they cared.

They say demons do not cry… yet this three did. Well… maybe Sakura and Sasuke, Naruto just looked more sullen if anything. They all know that he doesn't have long with a missing arm and internal bleeding, even the medic who arrived could only do so much. The scarecrow didn't know nor cared anymore but Sakura's kiss somehow dulled the pain.

They left with a respect of strength, comfort of peace and promise of vengeance. He wasn't sure if he should take seriously that they will rescue him if he was sent to the wrong place.

No matter how many times he thought of regretting having these kids, they must have corrupted him for them to carve a place into his heart.

"… And this one is for Kakashi, shitheads!"

Sasuke was probably the most approachable of the trio. The flamboyant bad boy attitude was a sure-fire chick magnet; but he seems to be a terrible player. He does tend to be a little greedy (it was a running-gag how he will almost take any job just to pay his near endless tabs on pizza and ice cream).

But strangely, as his first official mission outside the village attested, Sasuke is someone who can be counted on as he shows compassion and mercy to those in need. He also the one who embodies the Will of Fire (in his own way though) as he will fight fiercely for friends and family, going so far as to try to save his brother. And with his lost, this somehow triggered the officially last Uchiha to fight harder.

" _ **TELOC VOVIM…**_ "

Sakura took some time getting used to. There were numerous occasions where she nearly got away with anything with her wily ways (he wasn't the only victim). And she could be at times vain and selfish.

But she just needed some growing up to do. Or remember what it means to be selfless as she had fought through hell and back for someone dear. And she is doing the same thing now.

"… **Eating my wing!** "

Then there's Naruto. Boy was he such a monster with how long the list of aliases was recorded under his name. He would have guessed that the blonde was having the time of his life(?) in this war.

But this war somehow showed something else. That behind the monster was a boy who lost his way. For one who claimed to abandon his humanity, it was quite a sight when Naruto was affectionate with his fledgling (no matter how morbid it was). How he mourned for a nemesis like a friend and upset of a traitor he considered an ally. He kept saying that only a man can destroy a monster. And that is what Kakashi believes his wards can do against Kaguya.

"… **to keep… me… tame…"**

"AAAAA **AAAAA** _ **AAAARRRRRRRGGG**_ _!"_

"… _ **AVAVAGO!"**_

It felt like the battle is coming to a close. They will win, but at what cost? They have lost something just as they had found their purpose. They will strive but must carry the burden for the rest of their life.

They have surpassed him in many ways as every good teacher wished. Yet like a good teacher, Kakashi still wanted to help them.

Reaching inside his jacket, he found the item that might have lengthened his life. "Ugh!" Or shorten it as some of the pieces were lodge in his chest. But at least they were close at hand.

Kakashi lethargically chanted, hoping that not a word was out of place. He wasn't sure if it would do much. It might as well repeat history. But no matter what, he has faith in his kids.

Before darkness took hold, he was able to use his final breath. "For…they… will… win."

xxxxx

"Oh… What happened?" Everything was fuzzy for one Hatake Kakashi as he wondered how he ended up in a bed not his own. The aseptic smell was a giveaway… and a very frantic medic-nin.

"Hatake-san! You're awake! We're terribly sorry!" Even when he was bedridden, he still can pull up his rank to get a clear picture. It appears the survival test (mostly on his part) attracted enough attention to send a rescue squad.

"When we found you, we feared for the worst with how you appeared. We immediately administered pain-killers at the safest amount. But it was later discovered that the medications weren't necessary. It appears that whatever Uchiha-san and Haruno-san did restored some of your health. With how delirious you were, we feared for an overdose."

He felt worried, not for the additional skills of his students, but what he might have said (coughIchacough). "What exactly was I saying?"

Glad her superior is not aggravated, she calmly gave the evaluation. "With how much you said about a mortal combat, a Yamanaka may diagnose you having PTSD if it weren't for some of the more far-fetched bits."

Relieved that he didn't mention anything embarrassing, Kakashi gladly accepts the order for a few days rest.

"We also found this on you." Opening a drawer, the medic presented a cracked amulet that felt vaguely familiar for some unknown reason.

"Never figured out you kept one of those. But the damage may be a lesson for you." A warm elderly voice was heard. And with how sudden it was, they immediately realized who had the skill to do so. "Hokage-sama!"

After giving a brief summary of the patient's condition, the medic left. Then the Sandaime turned back to the reason for this visit. "Since you're awake, I believe I can tell it to you now. Good job, Kakashi."

The drugs may still be in effect which may explain his simple response. "Huh?"

Before he can elaborate, the Hokage turned to the door. "Oh, they're here."

When it opened, Kakashi saw red. No, he wasn't angry. Rather he was getting quite yellow. Standing there were three figures predominantly clothed in the colour of blood. Even Sakura was wearing a more decorative red dress similar to when she was in the academy. But it might be when she was _far_ younger because the strain was caused by it being too small or some things were too big. And the slits were not helping.

"You're still alive. Good. I would have been disappointed if it were otherwise." Naruto considered with _that_ bloody grin.

"Yeah, Sakura already have the flowers for your funeral." Shaking her head in dismay, she gave Sasuke the 'are-you-an-idiot' stare. "If it's not a rose, you know next to nothing, do you?" This was just basically spelled out anyway.

"What are you getting at?" A bouquet was brought up to challenge that question.

"Do you know what Peonies means?" As the silence grew, so did her haughty smirk. "My point exactly."

Coughing to get everyone's attention, their leader addressed those… kids. "It's good that you are here because I was planning to make this announce to all of you. So please pay attention."

"As you wish, Hokage-sama." Kakashi was getting frantically confused again as this polite response came from Naruto of all people.

The Sandaime seems pleased with this turn of event as he returned to the Jounin. "Kakashi, since you were unconscious when the test was finished, I didn't have your output. And I was a bit doubtful of how a team of newly graduated students outdo one of my high ranking Jounin. So I have them tested in another way. What I learned was truly impressive. And it's all thanks to you."

"Huh?!" He has a very bad feeling of this. It was further highlighted by the mock innocent, smug and predatory grins that's showing behind the Hokage's back.

And the old man seems to have selective attention to miss these details (senility could also be the reason). "Congratulations! You are now a Jounin-sensei to Team 7."

Forgetting entirely everything that led to this moment, Kakashi's brain rebooted to process this information. What he got sums up to this: He will be handling these monsters. He gladly accepts the blissful unconsciousness if it meant staying away from them longer.

XXXXX

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Well there you have it. As much it's an exercise on my part, I'll let all give a good guess to fill in the blanks. First one is to guess what happened to Kakashi. The rest is finding who will fill up the roles of the mentioned spots.

So review. Don't be shy. See yah, people.


	3. Chapter 3

So… here we are again… Enjoy

Disclaimers: I own…

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XXXXX

Humans are quite an interesting creature. They have numerous weakness and the world is doing it's very best to exploit them. Yet given a certain situation and the right motivation, man has the power to conquer it. Be it to nurture or destroy, they strive to ensure that everything is under their control.

Unfortunately, such greed may blind them from one simple yet complicated principle… _Not_ everything can be controlled. So those enlightened to this will try to rationalize such phenomenon. A higher being could be at work to shepherd misguided souls. Yet such belief was not enough for some as they try to prove other forces that contribute to man's existence.

How a beat from a butterfly's wings can cause a storm elsewhere was one such topic as something fluttered on top an open palm. Strangely it is not a butterfly. It is a larger, hairier and is more commonly found after dark. And it's not a moth either.

But what is far stranger was that the bat in nestling on a boy's hand. A boy whose name is Uzumaki Naruto. Who is admiring it with _that_ bloody grin.

The animal was saturated with essence from a very powerful being. What piqued his interest was the familiarity it felt. Yet the clues were elusive as the scent leads to different suspects. Oh how easily it is to crush this fragile creature and let its blood tell the story. Yet… the mystery of its owner is far too interesting to spoil too soon. So the blonde set it free, excited for the day that this adversary will come to light.

But for the meantime, Naruto's interest is directed elsewhere… such as the mission his team is on. Although they have it in spades, the devil and the witch were not his focus. Oh no. What is interesting at this moment was their client. Despite the old bridge builder's fake bravado, he can feel it. The lies, the doubts, the fears. All of it coming out like water through a cracked sieve (in hind sight, they might have been the one to make the crack. But being at gunpoint tends to do that). Oh how he can't wait for this pathetic old man to finally spill it…, and maybe his insides too.

So excited of the mayhem they may (will) cause that the shade-wearing boy ignored the gaze directed to him as a shadow tenderly petted her now favourite bat. "Soon… we shall meet again… my Naruto-kun."

xxxxx

Kakashi knew his day was going to get worse. His days were already bad since he started handling these… kids. The upside is that is that they are very considerate to leave him alone when he's off-duty. That and if you know what doesn't piss them off.

So calling them a prat, punk and slut is not a good idea. Not that it meant anything to them; they just want an excuse to scare the crap out of anyone. Thankfully Tazuna didn't have any heart problems when guns were pointed to his heads, Sakura aiming for the less (or more) vital one.

After successfully preventing them from killing a client (he will demand that this will be a mission later), they left the safety of their own backyard to the great outdoors. Oh how great it was.

The Jounin noticed the poorly planned camouflage… and they may have as well because Sasuke open fire on the puddles. The now recognized Demon Brothers tried to salvage their blown cover. Keyword: _tried_. Because they were suddenly knocked back and restricted by large black and pink hands. They appeared to be made of hair… the same material that he suddenly realized made-up Sakura's get-up. He and Tazuna may have suffered a minor heart attack due to the show.

Both missing-nins suddenly stopped in their struggle but for two different reasons. One was of fear as he saw a hand crushed his brother's throat followed by it being ripped open. The fear worsens when the blonde turned to him with _a_ bloody grin.

He struggled once more as each ominous footstep drew Naruto closer to his prey. "WAIT! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!" he cowardly pleaded (and the remaining adults can't blame the poor sucker).

Any hopes were dashed when his head was forcefully directed to face this… monster. "Why will I believe your lies when the truth is so much sweeter?" He couldn't even tell it anyway when his throat is sadistically being crushed.

"And besides, your brother already told me everything. But I know a fine pair when I see one…" The hidden meaning was emphasized with _that_ bloody grin.

The statement made even worse with Sasuke's off-handed comment while reading a BINGO book. "When you're done, can I have the heads?"

xxxxx

And some guy's law was proven again by his current predicament.

This wouldn't have happened if Hiruzen was more attentive with making missions.

This wouldn't have happened if Tazuna was honest with the mission description.

This wouldn't have happened if Sasuke wasn't so noble to persuade him to continue the mission.

This wouldn't have happened if Naruto _**told**_ them that they were going to meet Zabuza, of all missing-nin, with the information he _**somehow**_ got from their ex-prisoners.

Kakashi still felt Sakura should be included, no matter how petty it was. But he'll have to think of a reason later if he gets out of this alive. If not, he'll continue it anyway wherever he goes.

He was somehow hoping it would end faster either way as Sasuke argued to his teammates on the bank, ignoring that the supposed prodigy knew water walking.

"Stop shooting already! This is my fight!" Kakashi somehow felt his warden let out a sigh of relief. While he was battling the Kiri missing-nin, his students effectively provided cover fire (thankfully they know who to shoot).

After witnessing first-hand how capable (coughterrifyingcough) his students were, the Konoha shinobi should have handed this battle over to them. Curse his selected memory and what little concern he had for them. Now Kakashi has to put his trust on his talented swordsman of a student who is telling his teammates to back-off… Yep, he's screwed.

"And I, Uchiha Sasuke, wielder of the Rebellion, invoke the Swordman's Bro-code Battle!" His other students seem to share in his confusion but not the incredulity when Zabuza solemnly considered the declaration. "Well said swordsman for I, Momochi Zabuza, master of the Kubikiri Houcho, wishes to cross blades with you. But sadly I have to decline that for I have a tight schedule."

"Seriously?" The Demon of the Mist turned to face him, dead serious and slighted that their sacred law was questioned.

"Of course! Any badass swordsman with a badass sword knows that!" He doesn't know if he should be bothered that there was such a code or depressed with the implication despite owning a sword for a short while. Then a thought came up; "What about Ringo Ameyuri?"

"… I didn't get the revision or last month's magazine!" And now there's a magazine for this type of weapon.

"Well if you're not going to put on a show, better end it quick." Naruto disappointedly stated while hefting his massive gun.

"But first…" Raising her hand which was mimicked by a large freaky appendage (thankfully only her sleeve unravelled), Sakura's hair shot out and returned with a Kiri-nin in its grasp. "Looky here. We have a guest."

What followed were a freshwater tsunami and the disappearance of the two missing-nin… and a little trim for Sakura.

"At least he fixed your split ends." Sasuke received various glares. His' probably ranked the lowest due to looking like a drowned rat. But it was no less intimidating once the scarecrow directed it to the next person on his day's 'to-blame' list. "Could I have a refund?" Maybe his students are on to something.

XXXXX

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I noticed this was a bit shorter. Since this scene is very common already, I wanted to change it a bit. Maybe a bit of behind the scene. Wanted to get this arc underway but it may have been too long or I was short on ideas. But if any have some ideas, I'll take them into consideration. So the review space is just there.

See yah people.


	4. Chapter 4

Got work… Got bored… Got bushed…

So decided to randomized some ideas again, hopefully to help get a decent plot for my other more anticipated fic.

Well, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Meh… I own nothing.

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XXXXX

As Gato's tyranny bled Wave of its resources, so was the hope of its people. Many gave up on the idea of a miracle but that what appears to be happening to one Hiro.

A beautiful young woman entered and idly browsed his store. Her blonde hair was like spun gold and she wore an immaculate white coat that the cost may even be much more than this village. He was even more shocked that this noblewoman bought what's left of his produce for far more than what it's worth. The small smile may mistake her as an angel to aid this troubled land.

But the man knows that this is no angel. For this… creature was only using the mask of innocence as its bloody gaze showed barely restrained thirst.

He was able to catch how that smile turned sinister for but a second. He didn't miss how two of Gato's enforcers eyed her with greed and lust from a corner of his store. How the girl ignored them as she blissfully left with her meagre purchase. How the thugs wordlessly decided to come for him later as they foolishly took after her… to never be seen again.

The shop owner tried to console that those men deserved it for what they had done to his home. But it did not rid the nightmarish song of hellish scream and unholy mockery of laughter. He spent the rest of the night praying for protection and forgiveness while the blood money was left untouched.

xxxxx

"You're all going to die!" As they were waiting for the outcome of Naruto's reconnaissance, the rest of Team 7 coolly situated themselves in Tazuna's home. To the untrained their casualness in such dreary situation may appear carefree, which Kakashi felt that he will remedy later.

But the Jounin was beaten to it when the boy was restrained to his chair in black bindings before being brought face-to-face with his bespectacled student.

"Now listen here, little boy! This is the one reason why I don't like crying babies. They whine over everything they don't know." He decided to trust Sasuke's reassurance that Sakura won't go too far.

"So you lost your father, well Sasuke-kun his family. Your homes in shambles, Naruto-kun is in ashes. Your childhood is dreadful? I don't remember mine so I'm not sure how to compare that." Kakashi was amazed with himself that he detected subtle melancholy at the otherwise uncaring lecture.

"Let's not forget those close to you, those others in this room who may have experienced far worse yet still hopes for the better. So I suggest reading something else, fairy tales has so many plot holes." She finished as the bindings turned back in the sleeves of her outfit.

A screech caught all of their attention as they found a bat hanging in a corner. It then flew towards Kakashi before dissolving and leaving behind a paper with information… written in blood. There was even a PS in the end saying that the writer didn't have any ink.

"Well it looks like an invitation. Come on boys! We're late for a party!" Sakura cheered; reverting back to the playful troublemaker he became accustomed to. Before Kakashi could coordinate a plan, the girl was gone… like he was accustomed to.

Sasuke went to retrieve his sword, which coincidently was beside Inari. But he did something that reminded the scarecrow that this wasn't the Sasuke that was originally imagined. "Sorry about that kid. She may not say it, but she didn't like what you and this village are going through. In her way, she wants to help… hoping maybe your lives will be a lot better than hers."

Hefting the blade on his shoulder, the boy turned to Tazuna with a devil may care grin. "Don't worry; pest extermination is free of charge."

xxxxx

"Now all we need is some booze and this will be one hell of a party!" She had to agree with her teammate, this party was so much lacking in the reception. But that doesn't mean there isn't any entertainment as the agile kunoichi skilfully danced over strikes while shooting the demon. Oh no, Mr. Momochi and his accomplish are fighting alongside them against a horde of those nasty things.

After a short rematch, the midget appeared with his entourage to double cross him, dumbest idea if you ask. Zabuza didn't take it well and gone berserk. If she remembered her Villain 101, the final challenge must have a trump when things are not going their way. So Gato used a trinket to summon one big mean fellow to do his bidding.

The basic lesson in demonology is that summoning one requires an adequate sacrifice, usually in the form of blood. So naturally since no idiot was brave enough to be near that thing, the soon to be a stain on the floor was within arm's reach.

So here they are now, trying to destroy a giant bug demon. Worse was that it kept spewing cockroach minions, disgusting! Funny how only Kakashi seems to be trouble by this turn of event considering he had seen the Kyuubi once.

How did Sakura have time to ponder on this? It's because she was now guarding a downed Kiri-nin, who recklessly tire himself when it got personal. She admires and pities the selfless sacrifice of such beautiful face.

"Kasumi will have my head…" She heard Zabuza muttered before putting aside the heavy sword and in a veil of smoke summoned a smaller but majestic katana. With renewed vigour, he charged with his new weapon. The renegade demon fought swift like a falcon with the ferocity of a dragon, there was poetry in this ballade of blood.

"Humans are truly fascinating creatures." She turned to her current companion; respect was shown for such spirit amidst the carnage. Naruto then knelt before the fallen apprentice with _that_ bloody grin. But seeing as now there was a new sitter, its Sakura's turn to join the fun.

XXXXX

* * *

Well that's this. See yah people!


	5. Chapter 5

Another day, another idea… whatever.

Disclaimers: Meh…

* * *

XXXXX

It has been a month since that misinformed mission and information given were thoroughly verified. Not that made any difference. In fact Kakashi heard of rumours that Suna gave only B-rank and above missions to a certain team, something he copied to satisfy these three monsters. Strangely he heard that Asuma and Kurenai are doing the same tactic, something that the Jounin hopefully can get some answers the next time they meet. They both appeared… troubled for some reasons.

Soon in a week will be the Chuunin exam here in Konoha, which he will definitely enlist his team just to get them off his back. But right now the scarecrow is trying to enjoy his off-day with a good book away from those… menaces.

"Oh my, so kinky. Much more daring than position 27…" Kakashi froze when he heard a voice from behind. It was feminine and that should have ticked his danger sense on what is to come. However he recognized that voice and knows that it will attract a different kind of trouble.

Hoping beyond all hope that it was a very convincing impersonator, Kakashi found to his dismay his spying reader. Thankfully Sakura was dressed in something less provocative, a fashionable blouse and jeans. Problem was that the unbuttoned top was showing things that are too big for puberty. Bigger problem was how close she was leaning over his shoulder that it is giving him an uncomfortably free show. The biggest problem: she's leaning over him doubtfully unknowingly showing things while reading his book!

Kakashi jumped back, his exposed eye was twitching with how the girl pouted for being left hanging. "What are you doing here? Didn't you agree to _willingly_ watch over the Hokage and elder's grandchildren?"

Straightening up with a bounce, she innocently answered. "I did. In fact I'm teaching them the value of hard work and diligence."

"Screw you!" Looking back, he found the honourable grandchildren as glorified pack mules to Sakura's shopping spree.

With hands on her hips, she sassily admonishes the trio. "Hush now! I did say all good deeds will be rewarded. Now there's this new boutique…"

"THAT'S IT! I get it that we want to be shinobi, basically child soldier, but it cross the line with child labour!" Konohamaru fumed, his two companions nodding vigorously to his declaration. "We will not be swayed anymore by your silver tongue and false promises! We have honor! Dignity!..."

"I'll buy each of you ice cream."

…

…

…

"Double scoops?" was the slip of weakness.

"With sprinkles if you desire." And the temptress pounced.

Seeing how easily they gave in to her sweet manipulation, the oldest one present in this shenanigan can already feel the headache coming. "Why didn't you ask your teammates?"

Tapping her chin, Sakura pouted once more. "I would have but they appear to be busy today. Sasuke-kun is currently on a gaming marathon, something of swords art he said."

xxxxx

DevilMayCare: _Okey swordsmen…_

XCLBR: _Ehem…_

DevilMayCare: _And swordswoman… Sheesh I thought Cloud had gender issues._

FenrirVII: _Bite me!_

DevilMayCare: _Anyway..., before we get out of this mess-_

XCLBR: _Defence of the Ancient was so much better._

DevilMayCare: _As I was saying! Let me introduce a new member to the party._

LilRed15: _Hi! :)_

D_Man100: _Ok, ignoring the wrong weapon to this group, what is the munchkin doing here?_

DracMhawk: _I too am curious if she is either brave or foolish to take on such quest._

LilRed15: _Meanies! I joined the game because of so many awesome weapon choices, not that Crescent Rose is any less cool! I can't wait to find the gun alternatives._

FenrirVII: _Ah… that feature is in the next instalment, probably a few months or so._

LilRed15: _…Fudge. :(_

xxxx

Then Kakashi braced himself for what is next. "I'm afraid to ask… What about Naruto?"

"Oh he has this monthly meeting with the SCA." The pinkette answered after a moment of contemplation.

"SCA?" confused by the term.

Sakura adjusted her glasses akin to a sophisticated instructor, a very ho- NOT GOING THERE! "Supernatural Contract Anonymous. It is a support group for beings who are experiencing some stress with the magical contract they are engage in."

xxxxx

In a modest room housed a gathering of… remarkable beings. Some appeared normal, but it only hid their true nature. But as of now they are here due to a shared problem that they help make it more tolerable.

"…despite being a demon, it is still a chore to wake up at such ungodly hours. All for a croissant!" A sharply dressed butler vented.

Many of the occupants nodded in sympathy, including a familiar red clad vampire. "Amen to that."

"Youch!" An unremarkable brunette yelled in pain that unleashed two wings from his back.

A giggle came from a woman with long violet hair in formfitting leather attire; the most remarkable trait was that her eyes were covered by some sort of mask. "I may be blindfolded, but I know a lecherous gaze when I feel one."

"It's the snivelling pile of meat, wasn't it?" Naruto playfully asked the woman with _that_ bloody grin.

Her frown deepens as she recollected her current problem. "That waste of breath has no right to belittle my _true_ master for so being ill-equip, in more ways than having no magic circuit…"

"It's a shame that I'm only given this day off. He sounds delicious." The brunette looked very uncomfortable sitting beside this supposed gentleman, which Naruto and others found hilarious.

"Want me to drag him to hell once I pass by?" A man with a leather jacket but with a hint of smoke offered.

The frown shifted as she turned towards the biker. "Take along the creep and I'll give you the ride of your unlife."

xxxxx

"Anyway, it's nice seeing you sensei but we have to be on our way. Come on munchkins, chop chop!" She cheerfully bid as the children gave a resigned groan.

"It's better than with the bogeyman."

"The sack of creeps or Princess Luna?"

Looking heavenwards for some sort of miracle, he wondered who else is dealing with such, as a Nara will say, troublesome bunch.

xxxxx

 _Much, much later..._

In a modest room…, which housed earlier some remarkable beings, is accommodating another group of… remarkable beings. But they requested this time to close the curtains and dim the lights to follow some villain guidelines.

"Before we shall discuss our current progress I would like to know where the rest are." The leader started because he noticed some vacant chairs around the meeting table. One was a given, but three absentee were the most recent.

"I got this thing from Kisame, un. Said to call him once the meeting starts." The youngest member said while holding some sort of tablet.

After tinkering and ringing, it showed the missing-nin's face. _"Hello!? This thing on!?"_

After putting the device to stand, the leader addressed his wayward subordinate. _"Kisame. Where are you and Itachi?"_

The sharkman just shrugged. _"Itachi? Beats me. We separated when he said he wants to get something from his old man. Funny thing is that he went the opposite direction from Konoha."_

"And where are you?" He demanded.

" _Just got out of the slammer and a tight one too."_ Kisame offhandedly replied.

Chuckles can be heard but the leader ignored it. "How is that possible?"

" _Again, beats me. Somehow I got mixed up with my cousin. But man is the community service exciting! The lard ass called our little group the 'Suicide Squad'. Bunch of weakling if they get killed just to catch some clown."_ Then Kisame suddenly turned from the screen and his eyes looked like they'll pop out of their sockets.

" _It's a bit chilly in here; I have to turn up the heat. Can you help?"_ A sultry voice was heard from the background.

A toothy grin so big that they didn't think possible nearly split his face. _"Gotta go, I found me the hottest buns in this joint and she's colder than the Yuki clan. Bye!"_

Only the beeping tone was heard as everyone was struck silent with awkwardness. "O…key. Kakuzu, where is Hidan?"

"I got rid of him." The bounty hunter darkly answered.

"Kakuzu, how many times do we have to tell you?! You can't just kill every partner you don't like! S-rank criminals don't grow on trees!" He crossly scolded the supposedly oldest member in there, unaware of the coughing of one who fits that description.

Kakuzu huffed and defended his action. "I couldn't kill that zealot even if I wanted to! I kicked him out because he… converted."

"How bad is he now?" Trying to imagine what cult is more bloodthirsty than his previous one.

"He's still preaching but he no longer needs to kill, only those that somehow deserved it. Unfortunately, it means the rest of us! That's why I left him in some ditch, but I doubt it's the last of him. But that's not the bad part." The miser grumbled.

"What can be worse than an immortal turning against us?" troubled now that they have such powerful enemy.

"He… He's… He's giving away money! To charity of all things!" The leader was once again struck speechless at such baffling reason. "-such waste! Which is why I started selling again my super, special, secret crab burger recipe! That will get the money flowing. Mwahahaha!"

Someone also felt happy, strangely it was from one they thought that cannot and did not find the need to laugh. "HAHAHA! Is that the one where it goes to your thighs then you blow up?"

"That was one time, un!" And chaos took over.

Looking heavenwards for some sort of miracle, he wondered who else is dealing with such, as a Nara will say, troublesome bunch.

XXXXX

* * *

Well that's that. See yah people again!


End file.
